Thank you and Merry Christmas

I sent out a special Christmas message to a few people I know. Then I changed it for three others that have been especially wonderful friends in my life. Then I realized that there are so many others that I would like to say the same thing to. Then I decided to add it to my blog.

I so miss my journal. I haven't yet decided to keep looking or go ahead and start a new one...Starting over is so difficult for me. LOL, but that is another blog all together...so here is my Christmas Thank You Letter, for everyone that has stepped into my life...
Thank you, thank you for being such a special friend. Thank you for walking with me through this "dark valley" in my life's journey. Thank you for believing in me, especially when I could not. Thank you for not turning away during the moments when I fell and the darkness was too much to handle. And most of all, please know that I will never be able to thank you enough!

I am so excited to finally graduate this Saturday.

I want to let you know that I consider you to be a good friend and appreciate your supporting me through this amazing journey of trust to find peace. While everything is not yet settled and my future (like so many I know--and don't know) is still unknown. I want you to know that I have come to a place of peace.
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I have looked at many possible outcomes for my current situation.

I have looked into putting my house up for a "quick sale" and decided that if necessary that is what I will do. I have friends and family both in Arizona and Oklahoma and have decided that if this is the path I must follow then I plan on moving south to warmer climates :)

I am continuing to apply at whatever positions I find that I know I could do well in, and a few that I am not so sure

I know that Papa G has only my best interest at heart. That He has plans for my future to bless me and others through me. Right now I am learning how to fully trust Him with everything, learning to be at peace despite not having a "goal to work towards" or having a job to pay the bills.

I am starting to dream again.

My first venture into dream land is to start selling my crocheted items on the internet and through word of mouth. It has been a very slow process, but has been very fulfilling as well.

I know that one day I sincerely want to teach youth with behavioral disorders (special ed). There are many ways I would like to see this happen. I special ranch where they can come to work with rescued animals (horses or dogs). In a Montessori type school, where they can have the curriculum set up so it will HELP them succeed, staying right here in Longview, in this house, and opening a center for youth and teens that teaches life skills. Like I said I am starting to dream again.

Yes, I still have moments with my emotions taking over control, I am so far from where I hope to be in that department, but then I have to look at how far I have come as well...and I am much closer than I ever thought I could be.

Yes, I still doubt and wobble from the peace of knowing it will all work out and be more than okay, but then I have remembered how to reach out and ask for help, for someone to lean on, so once again, I have come farther along the way.

Yes, I still have difficulty keeping in touch, journaling, and putting things in writing, but I have discovered the wonder of words again. I have rediscovered my love of writing, so I am again moving forward.

Yes, I have let my physical body become sedentary and sluggish. But, I have begun practicing making better choices and moving again, so I may whine about pain and all that stuff, but it's worth it, to be able to move and move forward to a healthier me.

Yes, I sometimes forget that I have friends who care deeply, even if we aren't in constant contact, talking multiple times everyday...but this too is healthy and normal...I am finding that friendship isn't being the same person and having such an unhealthy relationship, but instead a journey where we walk beside each other, sometimes the paths separate for a time and seem to go in different directions...but I have found that the paths always meet up again somewhere, and I am thankful for that. I am thankful for your friendship. I am thankful for you.

Thank you for your friendship and for being there. I hope that you have a most blessed and happy Christmas and New Year.

hugs,
me