General rambling moment

So, what is up with me?
I am debating whether or not to put my house up for sale.
I need to do a serious house cleaning--its so filthy I am ashamed.
I need to find homes for my cats, but am not ready to give up my dogs yet.
I am still on the job hunt.
I want to move to a warmer state.
I am tired of hearing people tell me to break up with Brandan and kick both him and my sister out.
I really want to get into Special Education working with the Behaviorally Challenged.
I want to open my own business--Craft/Coffee Shop that gives crochet lessons.
I want to sleep through the night without waking up with electric shocks running through my legs or tingly almost numb ice cold hands, or various other cramps/muscle spasms--
I want to have a job that gets me out of the house every day AND pays the bills.
I want to be able to stop stressing about what my future holds/doesn't hold.
I don't want to think about what is and isn't happening in my life.
I want people to realize that having my 4-year Bachelor's of Science Degree is not a magic ticket that will solve all my problems.
I want to be able to move without pain again.
I want to be able to take my dogs for a walk and be able to do more than cough and wheeze and wince from pain when I get home...from walking around the block...
I want to be thin and healthy. I don't need to be rich, but would like to make enough money to have a savings account that can pay the bills if I lose my job again, or can help out my family if something goes wrong--like the fact that their fridge decided to melt down today and now has to be replaced so it doesn't cause a fire!--or whatever the emergency is...
I want to not be one of the NEEDY DEGENERATES that is sucking our health care and tax payer system dry...
I want to be what I always dreamed of being...successful, well off, teacher, mother, wife...
I am tired. Just plain tired...
so off to bed I go. Hopefully I will sleep tonight. Tomorrow is another day. Lets see what God has planned...
I still haven't found my journal...think it is time to break open a new one. I have just the one too....
night y'all
me