October 24, 2009
Now that the horror is over and I am safe back in my apartment. All is well. I cannot believe I just spent the last 3 hours driving around Portland, mostly due to getting lost and not knowing where I was going to begin with. All I wanted was a cup to put hot tea in. That’s it! Oh and a bowl for breakfast in the morning. Now it is nearly 2 a.m. and I have not gotten my homework done. I have to redo all of my notes for the final presentation because I forgot them at home too. I have had no luck with this weekend course. The first weekend I ended up with an ulcer on my right eye, which made having my eyes open nearly unbearable, even with two sets of sunglasses on. This weekend I couldn’t find a cloak for my group presentation outfit—the presentation was on Halloween and I wanted to dress as close to a druid might have dressed as possible—needless to say, no cloak. I am now familiar with all of S.E. Division between I-205 and 22nd Avenue. I found something like five second hand/thrift shops, two Halloween costume type capes that were made from flimsy gross material—NOT what I was looking for. Oh well. I made it to class on time and our group projects turned out really well. SC was impressed with the other group that was presenting and told me that I had to “bring it” with my part of our presentation—so I did! I went ahead, put on my red stretch velour Halloween costume, and had them turn off the lights so that the only light coming into the room was from the streetlight shining through the window. Then I completely improved a prayer. Dana would have been so proud. I know I was extremely proud of it. The instructor, Susanna Lundgren (an amazing and multi-talented woman!) told me that she was impressed and thought it was excellent.
I never thought that I would become a classical music person, yet the music that Susanna brought for us to discuss tonight is so amazing that I asked if I could copy it all onto my laptop. She gladly let me. Now I have some really amazing and highly eclectic music on this laptop. I will have to remember to burn it all off onto CD’s when I get home.
I wish that I could be writing this into my journal, but my body is aching so badly right now, it hurts to hold a pen. Typing is so much easier on my hands. Plus it is easier to keep up with my thoughts when I can type them verses having to wait for my slow hands to get everything written out. I almost don’t have to think about my typing, not the way you do when you write. The only annoying thing about typing it out in Word is that Word keeps trying to correct my grammar and punctuation. I am too tired to figure out how to turn that helper off. I have so much work to do and no energy to do it.
Oh well. The sooner started the sooner finished. Here’s to another day and a life in my insanity.
Oh ya, the campus WI-FI appears to be turned off at 1a.m. so that is why I am not able to put this directly onto my blogger account. –laters, me
p.s. this is written at a 6th grade level. Just a thought.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Death with Dignity—an inherent right?
Imagine with me if you will, a young adult female. She is 21 years old, is morbidly obese, and has a history of suicidal ideation and actions. Last year she was diagnosed with type 2 Diabetes (DM II). This year she was diagnosed with Fibromyalgia, a weird syndrome where the most common symptom is widespread muscle pain—“fibro” meaning fibers (muscle) and “myalgia” meaning pain or inflammation). Most doctors do not believe in Fibromyalgia and treat the patient like a hypochondriac.
Skip forward eleven years, she is now 32, in college working on her Bachelor's degree. In the past eleven years, she has watched family members become so overweight that they can barely walk from their bed to the bathroom (all of 20 steps, if that). She has watched a grandmother die of diabetic complications, chronic heart disease (CHF), cardio pulmonary obstructive disease (COPD), complicated with “the loss of will to live.” She watched aunts lay in hospital beds as they begged her to “get healthy” so she would not become like them.
She has watched her mother and her father’s health deteriorate to the point that her father is now blind from diabetic complications and her mother, well her mother is another story in and of itself. She has worked through pain and muscle spasms. She has endured the heartache of weighing 325 pounds, wearing a women’s plus size 32, to weighing 265 pounds, wearing a plus size of 20. She received the diagnosis of osteoarthritis, finding out that her pain had been aggravated by being medicated incorrectly and will need to start an entirely new medicine regimen. She ended the year with an “exit interview” from the job she had held for nearly seven years.
Everything she identified with, everything she knew, every dream she had, instantly collapsed around her. Her only thought within her shocked mind was “I worked myself sick for what? What have I got to look forward to now, more pain, more obscure ailments that are blamed on diabetes, fibromyalgia, or the morbid obesity?” She could not help but wonder: what was going through God’s almighty brain, what was the point of living, why she feels driven to a masochistic need to continue getting out of bed each day. She longed for a day without pain, without stress, without the life in which she struggles to survive.
Fast forward again. She is now 34. She has since worked in fast food, without the much-needed pain controlling medications and so coming perilously close to her genetic destiny of alcoholism. She has also gone without the necessary insulin and diabetic medications and so her blood sugar levels are ridiculously high. She decides to return to In Home Care as an Independent Provider. This means that she is working part-time as a Soft Serve Specialist and with two separate individuals suffering from various disabilities and severe cases of negative attitude. Translated into a work schedule, she is now working seven days a week on top of having college courses on one of those nights. She still struggles to survive emotionally, mentally, and financially; continues to wonder what God has planned; and rolls from her bed each day hoping for some relief from the monotonous aching pain, overwhelming worries, and near constant tension headache. Amazed that the daily overdose of Tylenol, Motrin, and Aleve has not killed off vital body organs, she contemplates if and how much God truly cares for her situation.
You must be wondering what my point is by now. It is simply this; death would be such a relief from her life. Judging by the current pattern of diagnosis that so closely resembles that of both parents, she agonizingly observes their continued development of infirmity; knowing that her future holds the culmination of their genetic cesspools. She rarely visits her family; she would rather live in denial than face the reality of her life.
Now think about the terminally ill patients with cancer, quadriplegics with no hope of recovery, those with intense pain levels that no longer respond to legal medications. Consider those suffering with dementia (including the well-known Alzheimer’s disease), Lou Gehrig’s disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus, or any number of diseases that will one day leave them a living corpse, dependent on others for total care, including the intimate details of bathing and toileting.
Death with Dignity or doctor assisted suicide has become quite an inflammatory issue. Should the politicians "legislate" a person’s death? Should the government have a say in deciding how and when a person will die and thereby arbitrate a living death sentence? Simply put, NO! When faced with a definite prognosis of “poor quality of life,” individuals should be allowed the right to decide when and how they will die.
Advanced Directives (Living Will) detailing whether or not heroic measures are to be taken upon demise have already become approved. To be legally binding, the patient, the physician, and preferably any children must sign this document or family members that may be expected to make such a decision; it must then be notarized and placed with the hospital records, the doctor’s records. Keeping it in a prominent location in the home where emergency personnel can easily find it is also a necessity. It is preferred that a family member also be given a copy of the document and some even go so far as to keep a card in the wallet or purse notifying emergency responders to the documents existence. This document can also be rescinded or modified at any time, so long as the person is considered mentally cognizant and able to make such decisions (this can only be decided by the person’s physician or mental health provider). I believe that there should also be Death with Dignity directives that would be held to the same standards and legalities as mentioned above for the Advanced Directives. I say that Death with Dignity should be legalized nationwide and allowing individual physicians the choice to assist or not.
Besides, if a person truly wants to die—then die they will. Wouldn’t a prescription, or medicine administered by a licensed physician be a preferable scenario than that of—let’s say—a bullet through the head with blood, bone, and brain matter ubiquitously splattered.
Skip forward eleven years, she is now 32, in college working on her Bachelor's degree. In the past eleven years, she has watched family members become so overweight that they can barely walk from their bed to the bathroom (all of 20 steps, if that). She has watched a grandmother die of diabetic complications, chronic heart disease (CHF), cardio pulmonary obstructive disease (COPD), complicated with “the loss of will to live.” She watched aunts lay in hospital beds as they begged her to “get healthy” so she would not become like them.
She has watched her mother and her father’s health deteriorate to the point that her father is now blind from diabetic complications and her mother, well her mother is another story in and of itself. She has worked through pain and muscle spasms. She has endured the heartache of weighing 325 pounds, wearing a women’s plus size 32, to weighing 265 pounds, wearing a plus size of 20. She received the diagnosis of osteoarthritis, finding out that her pain had been aggravated by being medicated incorrectly and will need to start an entirely new medicine regimen. She ended the year with an “exit interview” from the job she had held for nearly seven years.
Everything she identified with, everything she knew, every dream she had, instantly collapsed around her. Her only thought within her shocked mind was “I worked myself sick for what? What have I got to look forward to now, more pain, more obscure ailments that are blamed on diabetes, fibromyalgia, or the morbid obesity?” She could not help but wonder: what was going through God’s almighty brain, what was the point of living, why she feels driven to a masochistic need to continue getting out of bed each day. She longed for a day without pain, without stress, without the life in which she struggles to survive.
Fast forward again. She is now 34. She has since worked in fast food, without the much-needed pain controlling medications and so coming perilously close to her genetic destiny of alcoholism. She has also gone without the necessary insulin and diabetic medications and so her blood sugar levels are ridiculously high. She decides to return to In Home Care as an Independent Provider. This means that she is working part-time as a Soft Serve Specialist and with two separate individuals suffering from various disabilities and severe cases of negative attitude. Translated into a work schedule, she is now working seven days a week on top of having college courses on one of those nights. She still struggles to survive emotionally, mentally, and financially; continues to wonder what God has planned; and rolls from her bed each day hoping for some relief from the monotonous aching pain, overwhelming worries, and near constant tension headache. Amazed that the daily overdose of Tylenol, Motrin, and Aleve has not killed off vital body organs, she contemplates if and how much God truly cares for her situation.
You must be wondering what my point is by now. It is simply this; death would be such a relief from her life. Judging by the current pattern of diagnosis that so closely resembles that of both parents, she agonizingly observes their continued development of infirmity; knowing that her future holds the culmination of their genetic cesspools. She rarely visits her family; she would rather live in denial than face the reality of her life.
Now think about the terminally ill patients with cancer, quadriplegics with no hope of recovery, those with intense pain levels that no longer respond to legal medications. Consider those suffering with dementia (including the well-known Alzheimer’s disease), Lou Gehrig’s disease, Multiple Sclerosis, Lupus, or any number of diseases that will one day leave them a living corpse, dependent on others for total care, including the intimate details of bathing and toileting.
Death with Dignity or doctor assisted suicide has become quite an inflammatory issue. Should the politicians "legislate" a person’s death? Should the government have a say in deciding how and when a person will die and thereby arbitrate a living death sentence? Simply put, NO! When faced with a definite prognosis of “poor quality of life,” individuals should be allowed the right to decide when and how they will die.
Advanced Directives (Living Will) detailing whether or not heroic measures are to be taken upon demise have already become approved. To be legally binding, the patient, the physician, and preferably any children must sign this document or family members that may be expected to make such a decision; it must then be notarized and placed with the hospital records, the doctor’s records. Keeping it in a prominent location in the home where emergency personnel can easily find it is also a necessity. It is preferred that a family member also be given a copy of the document and some even go so far as to keep a card in the wallet or purse notifying emergency responders to the documents existence. This document can also be rescinded or modified at any time, so long as the person is considered mentally cognizant and able to make such decisions (this can only be decided by the person’s physician or mental health provider). I believe that there should also be Death with Dignity directives that would be held to the same standards and legalities as mentioned above for the Advanced Directives. I say that Death with Dignity should be legalized nationwide and allowing individual physicians the choice to assist or not.
Besides, if a person truly wants to die—then die they will. Wouldn’t a prescription, or medicine administered by a licensed physician be a preferable scenario than that of—let’s say—a bullet through the head with blood, bone, and brain matter ubiquitously splattered.
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